Is a "big name" any guarantee of quality? Hardly

And to think we'd waited six years for this ...

Shortly before Christmas '02, The Better Half and I attended a holiday party, hosted by the founders of a local wine club. (When I use the phrase wine club, I don't mean the sort that a person joins to have two wines sent to his or her home each month. This club, truth be told, is merely a gathering of folks who, despite their claims of being on the lookout for fine wine, are happiest guzzling down grade-Z plonk guaranteed to burn throats and provide two-day hangovers.)

Anyway, one time-honored tradition of the group's annual holiday shindig was the gift exchange. Lucky recipients found themselves with a decent bottle, whereas less-fortunate ones ended up with stuff that'd make Robert Parker award Beringer White Zinfandel with a score of 95. When we took our wine out of the bag -- a '99 Rodney Strong Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon -- fellow partiers murmured "ooh" and "ahh."

Last month, we learned, that bottle most definitely did not deserve their adoration.

One of the results of the economy's free fall is our dining creatively. That's also a result of TBH's being laid off in January 2006 from his terrific executive position, as was everyone else from his department, from the massive insurance company for which he toiled for nearly 16 years. Right now, he's earning about a third of his former salary as a manager of Internet car sales. What this means, kind reader, is that a birthday dinner in 2008 means heading out to Mimi's Cafe with a bottle primed for a $1 corkage. (Before his layoff, our b-day celebrations involved going to pretty great spots in downtown Long Beach -- The Madison, Sir Winston's, L'Opera, or The Sky Room -- all places where it's easy to part with $250 for a pre-dinner drink, an appetizer, a bottle of wine, two entrees, an after-dinner cordial, and a dessert.)

Anyway, my birthday dinner was our chance to sample that '99 Rodney Strong. "I'll bet it's become really rich and elegant by now," TBH murmured, pulling it from our wine rack shortly before we left for Mimi's.

Rich and elegant, unfortunately, were hardly fitting discriptors for this dull, generic juice.

RODNEY STRONG 1999 CABERNET SAUVIGNON RESERVE/SONOMA COUNTY: ABOUT $20

For starters, the nose was as plain and one-dimensional as any I've ever tried in the last decade. Even after we'd swirled the wine in our glasses for five minutes, we were able to pick up only two aromas: plum and prune. In fact, one sip reminded me of a glass of Sunsweet Prune Juice I'd had a few years ago.

Roughly 25 minutes after that, once we were ready for our second glass -- we took our time with that first one with our French onion soup -- tiny notes of black pepper and smoke emerged in both the scent and the flavor. Regrettably, the plum/prune essences became flatter with extended aeration, making the wine itself taste like stale prunes. (Did I forget the wine's ultra-short finish?) To its credit, its full, soft mouthfeel and laid-back tannins cooperated politely with a blackened ribeye we'd had for our dinner entree, as well as a milk-chocolate mousse pie -- an on-the-house birthday treat from our Mimi's server.

With each sip of the Rodney Strong, we remembered the adoring comments made by our fellow party guests from that holiday party nearly six years ago. "Somehow, I just don't think they'd have gone on like that if they knew how dull the wine turned out to be," TBH commented. "Don't bet on it," I replied. "If they had the kind of taste I thought they had, they'd have given it a standing ovation." My bottom line: This bottle, which pushed $20 while it was available in wine shops a few years ago, is far and away one of the lowest-achieving wines we've had in more than a decade, making it the Spicoli of the vineyard. By comparison, the non-vintage Foxhorn "American" Cabernet Sauvignon -- y'know, the magnum that retails for four bones in grocery stores -- shows itself like a 96-point Wine Spectator classic.

Make no mistake, I'm delighted that we had a wonderful birthday dinner, filled with engaging conversation and good humor, given how low on funds we are. If only we could've brought a different, and undoubtedly more intruiging, wine ...

Cheers!